kso right now i'm finding the hairstyle that i want seeing as i'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. but thats not the reason i decided to write this blog, i decided to write this blog not only because i'm bored out of my mind but because i just need to say how i'm feeling. i dont care if you make fun of me for this but whatevr i dont care.
kso, i've been bestfrineds with this guy for so long and i'm startiung to like him, i'm starting to like him ALOT. i kinda think he might be starting to like me too but i'm afarid that i'm seeing things that arent there ya know ? i'm also afraid that if he does like me back and we hook up or soemthing that it will ruin our friendship, cuz that happened with my last boyfriend. we were BESTFRIENDS and now we barely talk and it kinda seems like he hates me :(
anyways me and this guy should probly jsut stay friends that way neither of us gets hurt...
i guess ? :\ i truely dont know !
but i have bigger problems then boys. that problem is... my dad :(
my dads beat me my whole life, its weird though because he's never layed a finger on my sister but he's always beat me for things that have absolutly nothing to do with me. he's done alot to me: broken my bones, given me bruises, made me bleed, amde me cry, tear apart my family, lie, cheat, basically anyhting that you can image that would hurt you SO deeply he's done it. i love my dad btu i dont think he loves me back. i wish that for once instead of hitting me and blaming all his problems on me that he would just hugg me and tell em that eh loves me and that everythign will be okay. i knwo that there are people who dont have dad's and their probly saying that i'm lucky to even have one but personally i dont think i ahve one because he's never acted liek one and he's never treated me like a daughter. just the things he says/does sometimes hurt me SO much that i just wanna end my life basically, i use to cut alot but i stopped last year and then started again this year but my friend made me stop and promise him i wouldnt anymroe but i just want to so badly. life's so hard sometimes but the best thing we can do is pick ourselves up even when it seems like theres no one there for you there always is. i hope that all your fathers treat you betetr then mine does. i actually kinda think that i deserve everything he's done to me for all 13years of life, because if i didnt deserve it why would he do it ?
anyways imma go,
blog ya later ;)
- fee..
xoxo
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3 comments:
aw bby :(
im ALWAYYS here for you <33
no matter what.
bestfriends.
iloveyou<3333
and reading that, broke my heart. it was achualy really sad :( you NEVER deserved that. no one deserves that :\
omg, you make my life seem like HEAVEN compared to what you're going through, ily fee!
You've always been strong and you always will be. You amaze me!
Keep smiling baaaabe!
thanks ladies :)
but thats not event he half of it :\
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